Jokes of the Day
I have been collecting jokes since I was 8. These are a few of the latest.
Hello
"Hello?"
"I am John with the C.I.A."
"I know."
"And how do you know that?"
"You called a phone that has no SIM card, no battery, and it's broken."
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Hunting Mess
Duck decoys, fishing rods, boots... Outdoor gear of all kinds was piled high in the garage. One day I found my wife staring at the mess.
"I hope I die first, so I don't have to get rid of all this," she sighed.
"Look on the bright side," I suggested. "If I go first, you can put an ad in the paper. When all the men come by to check out the stuff, you can pick out a replacement for me."
Still staring at the pile, she said, "Nah. He wouldn't be my type."
I Just Can't Drive Today
For the second time in a row, I was forced to impose on the woman with whom I carpooled to our children's soccer practices.
I phoned and explained that my husband had the car again, so I wouldn't be able to take my turn. A few minutes before she was due to pick up my son, my husband showed up. Since it was too late for me to call and say I could drive after all, I asked my husband to hide the car in the garage and to stay inside. I also explained to my son that he shouldn't mention anything about his father's whereabouts.
Unfortunately, my husband forgot and was in front of our house chatting with a friend when my carpool partner arrived. When my son returned from practice, I asked him if she had noticed.
"Yes," he replied, "she asked me which of the two men in front of the house was my father. But don't worry. I told her I didn't know."