Jokes of the Day
I have been collecting jokes since I was 8. These are a few of the latest.
Hello
"Hello?"
"I am John with the C.I.A."
"I know."
"And how do you know that?"
"You called a phone that has no SIM card, no battery, and it's broken."
Hunting Mess
Duck decoys, fishing rods, boots... Outdoor gear of all kinds was piled high in the garage. One day I found my wife staring at the mess.
"I hope I die first, so I don't have to get rid of all this," she sighed.
"Look on the bright side," I suggested. "If I go first, you can put an ad in the paper. When all the men come by to check out the stuff, you can pick out a replacement for me."
Still staring at the pile, she said, "Nah. He wouldn't be my type."
I Just Can't Drive Today
For the second time in a row, I was forced to impose on the woman with whom I carpooled to our children's soccer practices.
I phoned and explained that my husband had the car again, so I wouldn't be able to take my turn. A few minutes before she was due to pick up my son, my husband showed up. Since it was too late for me to call and say I could drive after all, I asked my husband to hide the car in the garage and to stay inside. I also explained to my son that he shouldn't mention anything about his father's whereabouts.
Unfortunately, my husband forgot and was in front of our house chatting with a friend when my carpool partner arrived. When my son returned from practice, I asked him if she had noticed.
"Yes," he replied, "she asked me which of the two men in front of the house was my father. But don't worry. I told her I didn't know."